Escalator Safety Announcement

Escalator safety announcement
Dear passengers
Please consider the escalator moving stepway as you trample carelessly across it
Its years of operation and periodic frequency of disruptive maintenance cycles are in direct relation to your capacity for casual disregard
Those intractable cycles that you bemoan as if they were unavoidable
Ouch ouch ouch the escalator says
Each creak and groan another step on the ever-diminishing road to obsolescence
My wheels receive no oil, my cogs no lubrication, my machinery no care
Hold the handrail, okay
But do you hold my hand as you kick me repeatedly in the stomach
If you do, it's more likely so you can kick me harder, get a better grip, finish me sooner
Hold my hand quietly and be still.
Do you stomp over everything in the way you do the escalator
If so, kindly use the stairs.